Winning is a mind game and winners display some key mental characteristics, attitude and personality traits that enable them to win. On the contrary, there are Whiners, who are constantly complaining, grumbling and moaning, feeding misery to themselves and to everyone around them. Whining is not a helpful quality to win. Here is my list of Top 5 distinctions between winners and whiners:
Winners take personal accountability for results; Whiners blame others
A lot of times, expected results don’t materialize and anticipated outcomes don’t happen. Winners take personal accountability for their actions, decisions and end results. They don’t look for blaming others when the end results don’t turn out positive, nor are they taking all the credit to themselves when the outcomes are positive. On the other hand, whiners are ready to blame others when results don’t play out as what they anticipated. They spend their energy analyzing who to blame and are convinced that the reasons for the failed outcome lie outside of them. They are ready to blame people, circumstances and everything that has come in the way, sabotaging their chances of success.
Winners compare to excel. Whiners compare to envy.
Winners examine their results in 2 ways: One, they compare their current results with their own prior performance to assess if they have made significant improvements over the past. This gives them a reference point to keep improving for the future. Second, they compare their results with others who are ‘best-in-class’ in their field and see how they can excel them in future. They keep comparison in right perspective and use it to help assess how much more they need to improve themselves in future. On the other whiners get caught into the classic comparison trap feeling “how come he is promoted and I am not”, how come he has got such results and I have not”, “how come he lives in a big house and drives a big car and I am not”.. the list is endless. But such comparisons nurture envy and hatred towards others and that’s unhealthy.
Winners try to find the way. Whiners try to convince you ‘there is no way’
When faced with a setback, winners are looking for ways to overcome it. They remain unfazed by setbacks and obstacles. They are looking for solutions. They are looking for new ways to achieve the result. They are not waiting for others to come and show them the solutions. They are actively seeking it. They are ready to experiment with new ways to solve the problem. They operate on the belief that they will find a way to overcome the problem. On the other hand, Whiners are ready to judge and conclude quickly at the first signs of setback, that the project is doomed and there are no viable options to pursue and there is no other way to solve this problem. They have no strong belief system like the winners to think that they can find the way. Their mind thinks it’s a waste of time to look for new solutions as they feel certain that there is no way out of this problem.
Winners find reasons to persist. Whiners find reasons to quit.
Persistence is a determination to continue, to keep pressing on when the pressure is still on. Winners are ready to persist until they find the answers, until they find the solution, until they are convinced that they have given their best shot. To be able to persist, winners use ‘Hope as the fuel’ and ‘Belief as the vehicle’ to travel and continue their quest. ‘Nobody trips over mountains. It’s the small pebbles that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain’. This is the belief winners have that gets them to persist. Whiners on the other hand find reasons to quit and they have no determination to continue because their belief system does not give them signals of hope and positive outcomes.
Winners are focused. Whiners are scattered.
The mind unleashes a new level of power and creativity when it is focused. A focused mind will be able to think clearly and come up with creative solutions to problems that have remained hard to resolve for a long time. On the other hand, the mind gets overwhelmed and tries to switch off when it has to deal with too many things at the same time. Too much information, too many interruptions, handling multiple tasks at the same time – all cause overload to the brain making it less efficient to solve even simple problems. Winners understand this and they stay super focused on the actions and results they want to achieve. Top class professional athletes in international competitions manifest this quality of super-focus. They are not distracted by what is happening around them. They are concentrating on the game and the moves they need to make to win the game.
Winners say “Good morning, GOD; Whiners say, “Good GOD! Morning!”
Overall Winners view the world through a ‘positive lens’ while whiners see everything through a ‘negative lens’. This is just my top 5 out of the long list of distinctions one can highlight between winners and whiners. What do you think of other key distinctions that separate winners from whiners?
Sairam Narayan
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